I really don't know clouds at all

First of all, I have to say, I will try to upload my 2 videos to the Youtube, what I made on last Saturday.

If you know me, you know, that Germany is the most important country for me on the whole world. If you don't know me, it's the first I have to say about me: I love Germany. I adore Germany. Germany is everything for me.
Till the last year I planned to live there for ever, but after all, I have fallen in love with the best man on the world from Debrecen. For a while, this is the only reason, why I think, I have to stay here, in Hungary.


Every time when I go to Debrecen, it's really hard to say goodbye at the and of the day. The train is coming and my heart is broken... Because I have to leave my love, my Darling "Sz" on the railway station. He finds this moment a little bit funny – but I not at all.
Till this year, every time, if I had a question "What was the best day of your life?", I always remembered and thought the days what I spent in Germany. I was there 4 times till this moment. Together I spent there around a month. And I always remember these days, like the best days of my life. But, since I love a man from Debrecen and I've been there a few days, my mind is changed. I haven't got the same answer(s) for the question. Just I can say only, that my best days of my life are my days in Debrecen. Can you imagine?


But in Germany, Munich is my favourite city. I've been there twice: between 26th and 31st August 2008; and on 3rd October 2009. Yeah, last October I visited the Oktoberfest and had a lot of fun. I got there 2 new german friends, Bastian and Michael, I really like them.
Sometimes when I leave my Darling and I travel by train to home or I'm out of Debrecen at all (much more times what I want) I usually listen to music on my mp3-player, these periods are not very cheerful songs, like the "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell. I almost agree the lyrics of this song. And I also feel that I don't believe in anything, I don't believe in heaven, the clouds... at all.


For me, this song is a symbol of hopelessness and despair. But I know, I can't ever go away, and yet... It's difficult. Anyone who wasn't a party, don't understand. Were you ever in a similar situation?

(The second pic is from Facebook, other pictures from Worldwide.)